


I'm not excited, but should I be

by mozaikmage



Series: Leftbook AU [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: College, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, M/M, Secret Relationship, Shenanigans, Texting, disguises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-02 23:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13329117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mozaikmage/pseuds/mozaikmage
Summary: Akaashi turns to Kenma and says, “I can’t believe they overlooked the obvious solution.”“The obvious solution?”Akaashi gestures between the two of them, and it clicks. “...Do you want to? Date me?” Akaashi says. He looks almost nervous for a second.“Pretend to date to get the idiots off our backs?” Kenma clarifies, and Akaashi shakes his head in return.Akaashi puts a hand on Kenma’s shoulder, and the casual contact feels more significant than ever before, somehow. Akaashi grins. The kind of grin Kenma remembers seeing through a volleyball net, years before. “Better. Actually for-real date, and not tell them. We don’t lie to them directly, just if Kuroo asks you if you’re dating anyone say yeah and then don’t tell him who. Let’s see how long it will take them to figure it out.”





	I'm not excited, but should I be

**Author's Note:**

> is this the fate that half of the world has planned for me? title from unbelievers by vampire weekend  
> though this is part of a series it should stand on its own I hope?  
> this sat in my WIP folder half-finished for 3 months before I looked at it again and decided to get it Done, and then it just kept getting more and more ridiculous

“Kenma...” Kuroo is flopped on the couch, holding his phone over his face. This particular way of saying “Kenma” indicates that Kuroo intends to question him about something annoying, like how his classes were going, or when he’d last called home, or whether or not Tsukishima liked him back (thank god  _ that’s  _ over with at least.)

Kenma sighs and pauses his game. “What, Kuro?”

“Are you aroace?”

That’s new. “What’s that?”

“It’s when you have no interested in romantic or sexual relationships with anyone.”

“Oh.” Kenma has literally never thought about this before. It never seemed important. But now that he’s put on the spot like this, he considers everyone he knows and thinks, would I date them? Would I kiss them? A few faces come to mind.

“No,” he says eventually. “Not aromantic, at least.” 

Kuroo sits straight up, grinning like he always does when he tricks Kenma into doing something he should do but does not want to do, like laundry. 

“Whatever you’re planning I want no part of it,” Kenma says, but it’s a reflex at this point, because he knows Kuroo’s going to get his way eventually anyway.

“I’m gonna set you up with someone.”

“Kuro no.”

“Kuro YES.” Kuroo has his phone out and is tapping away excitedly. Probably telling Bokuto all about his brilliant new plan. “I won’t be seeing Tsukki for like a month, I need to entertain myself somehow.”

“Read a book. Play a video game. Study for finals. Literally anything else.” Kenma goes into their shared bedroom and scrunches himself into a corner on his bed. Kuroo follows, of course. 

“Come on,” he whines, poking the blanket burrito that Kenma has become.

“I don’t want to be your project!” 

“So, do you like girls? Guys? Both? Give me something to work with!”

“Let me live.” 

Kenma pulls his phone out and texts the first number that comes to mind.

 

Kenma: hey keiji can i come over?

Kenma: kuro decided he wants to set me up with someone

Kenma: i do not want this

Keiji: oh. Oh my god

Keiji: I am so, so sorry

Keiji: I’m at the library rn because I need to do this discrete structures assignment but you can join me if you want? Here’s the address

Kenma: im in discrete structures too, maybe I can help

Keiji: t h a n k y o u 

Kenma: no thank /you/

 

Kuroo’s in the middle of some sort of lecture-rant about relationships, or something, when Kenma pulls back the blankets and says “I’m going out. I’ll be back when you give up on this.”

“Might as well move in with Yaku, then,” Kuroo retorts, unfazed. “Because I will find you a significant other whether you like it or not.” He pauses. “That sounded too threatening. I swear I just want you to be happy, Ken.”

“I know you do. I’ll see you later.” Kenma departs.

Spending time with Akaashi Keiji after prolonged exposure to Kuroo is relaxing. Akaashi meets him at the entrance to his college’s library and swipes him in as a guest, since Kenma doesn’t go to his school, and they quickly settle in at a sundrenched table by the back window.

Akaashi slams his head down on the table and groans quietly. “I hate this class. I feel like a kindergartener but I can only do these problem sets if I reward myself with five minutes of Facebook time after every five questions. Kill me.”

Kenma laughs softly. He has a 98 in his own discrete structures class. “Why do you hate it? If you’re struggling I can help.”

“No, it’s easy, it’s just boring and tedious.” Akaashi picks his head up off the table and blinks at Kenma, looking slightly more exhausted and pissed off than his neutral expression, which was already fairly exhausted and pissed off. “Maybe I should switch majors. I don’t know to what though.” 

Kenma hums, not sure what to suggest. Sure, he’s spent a lot of time with Akaashi over the years, but rarely one-on-one like this. They didn’t often interact without the presence of Kuroo, Bokuto, or both.

It’s nice, he thinks.

They work in silence for a while, Kenma checking Akaashi’s progress as they go along. Then Akaashi’s phone rings. He looks at his phone and sighs. 

“Bokuto,” Akaashi says, tonelessly. Kenma snorts. “Huh? Yeah, he’s here, why? The library. ...Give us half an hour, I’m almost done with this problem set. Okay. Bye.” 

He locks eyes with Kenma and says, “Brace yourself.” Which, as Kenma knows from years of both forced and voluntary Bokuto/Kuroo/Akaashi/Kenma interactions, means The Loud Ones are coming.

Akaashi finishes his assignment and slams his computer shut.

“Nice kill,” says Kenma. A flicker of a smile tugs at Akaashi’s mouth, and Kenma sort-of smiles back.

“...So, you mentioned Kuroo’s trying to set you up with someone? Is there a particular reason you don’t want him to do this?”

“The reason is Kuro needs to mind his own fucking business,” Kenma says, but there’s no bite to it. The initial intense annoyance has worn off, slightly, leaving only a dull feeling of “ugh.”

“That’s fair.” Akaashi shrugs. He glances out the window and says, “We should get going before those idiots get us banned for life for being disruptive.” Which, to be completely fair, has never actually happened to their group of friends, but frequently seemed like it was going to.

They meet Bokuto and Kuroo at the entrance to the library.

“Kenma!” Bokuto greets him. “How are you doing on this fine day!”

Kenma makes eye contact with Kuroo and says, “What did you tell him.”

Kuroo makes an attempt at looking innocent. Which, Kuroo has never looked innocent in his life. “Just that I wanted to set you up with someone. And Bokuto mentioned that Akaashi’s been awfully wrapped up in his Facebook drama things lately. So!” Kuroo claps his hands. “We’re having a competition: whoever can find their best friend a more compatible partner within the next month wins!”

“Wins what?” Akaashi asks, looking suspicious.

“Bragging rights!” Bokuto yells. “And 3000 yen.” 

He and Kuroo stand there in front of the library doors, blocking Akaashi and Kenma’s exit and looking annoyingly smug.

Kenma and Akaashi exchange a look.

“Can we go now?” Kenma asks. “I have a class in like half an hour.” 

Kuroo finally relents. “Yeah, we just wanted to inform you of this new development in your lives in person,” he says, punching Bokuto in the shoulder. “By the time you get back from class, I will have a matchmaking spreadsheet prepared and a list of questions for you to answer.”

Kenma suddenly feels deeply, profoundly exhausted. “Fine,” he says.

Bokuto and Kuroo go on ahead, and Akaashi turns to Kenma and says, “I can’t believe they overlooked the obvious solution.”

“The obvious solution?”

Akaashi gestures between the two of them, and it clicks. “...Do you want to? Date me?” Akaashi says. He looks almost nervous for a second.

“Pretend to date to get the idiots off our backs?” Kenma clarifies, and Akaashi shakes his head in return.  
Akaashi puts a hand on Kenma’s shoulder, and the casual contact feels more significant than ever before, somehow. Akaashi grins. The kind of grin Kenma remembers seeing through a volleyball net, years before. “Better. Actually for-real date, _and not tell them._ We don’t lie to them directly, just if Kuroo asks you if you’re dating anyone say yeah and then don’t tell him who. Let’s see how long it will take them to figure it out.”

“... But why would you want to date me. I don’t know how to date people.”

“You’re attractive, and I like spending time with you,” Akaashi says plainly. Kenma feels his face grow hot. But Akaashi looks slightly more flustered than usual too, so. “And I don’t really know how to date people either,” Akaashi continues, “but if so many people can do it then we could probably figure it out, right? Do you want to go to a cat cafe on Saturday?”

Kenma doesn’t have anything planned for Saturday. “Sure,” he says. “Why not.”

Kenma goes to his evening class. 

Akaashi texts him in the middle of it, which is unusual.

Keiji: how should we do this

Keiji: change our fb statuses to in a relationship but not w/specific people?

Keiji: say “I’m dating someone” when they try to set us up?

Keiji: (sorry ik you have class rn but yeah)

Kenma: it’s fine its not that important of a class

Kenma: and i think the second ones good enough

Kenma: we dont want to make a big deal out of it do we

Keiji: tru tru

Keiji: what class is it?

Kenma: cs

Keiji: ...CS is kind of important

Kenma: only if you believe it is

Keiji: LOL

Kenma pictures Akaashi doing his little half-laugh at his comment, lips quirking up into a tiny and rare smile, and thinks, maybe this isn’t a horrible mistake after all.

Akaashi Keiji is pretty. This is a well-established fact, unquestioned by everyone, even Oikawa Tooru at his pettiest. But Kenma’s never really thought about it before, because it’s never really concerned him. 

Now, though.

Kenma’s phone vibrates again, jerking him out of that train of thought. 

Keiji: what kind of CS?

Kenma: java

Keiji: oh boy

Keiji: I’ll let you get back to that then

Keiji: have fun.

And then, a few seconds later, he sends a “<3.” Because that is what People Who Are Dating do, Kenma supposes. 

He sends one back.

After class, instead of heading straight back to his dorm room and burrowing under his pile of blankets again like usual, he wanders around for a bit, playing a game on his phone. He’s still kind of mad at Kuroo for earlier. The weather’s nice, unusually warm for this time of year, so he might as well get some fresh air while he’s at it.

When he finally shows up, an hour later than usual, Kuroo’s already made dinner.

“You could’ve at least replied to my messages, asshole,” he complains. “You don’t usually stay out so late, I was worried.”

“Thanks, mom,” Kenma deadpans. He takes the bowl Kuroo shoves at him and sits down on the couch, knees shoved up to his chest. Kuroo joins him a moment later.

“So about the matchmaking thing...” Kuroo says. “I’m not gonna force you into doing anything you don’t want to do, okay? I’m not going to set up any dates for you if you really don’t want to do it.”

“You just think that since you’re in a relationship now everyone else around you should be too,” Kenma says. 

“Nah,” Kuroo replies, turning the TV on and opening up Netflix. “Or, maybe. Whatever, my motivations are not important. Anyway, I didn’t actually make a spreadsheet, but I do have a list of questions for you so I can figure out your type, so...”

Kenma takes a deep breath and says, “Actually, you don’t have to set me up with anyone anymore. I’m dating someone.”

This turns out to be the exact wrong thing to say.

Kuroo’s eyes gleam the way they did whenever he saw Tsukishima on the court. “ _ Really?”  _ he says, leaning forward and pushing his fingertips together. 

Kenma shrinks back a little. “Yeah.”

“Well!” Kuroo exclaims, texting rapidly. “The bet was not to see who could get their friend into a relationship fastest, but to see who could find their friend the most compatible partner. So, I will need to vet whoever this person is.”

Kenma keeps his expression as neutral as possible. Which isn’t hard, he’s had a lot of practice. “Sure.”

“So who is it?”

“Guess.” Kuroo looks excited and intrigued by the new direction this game is going, and Kenma allows himself a tiny smile.

“Is it Karasuno’s chibi-chan?”

Kenma scrunches his nose. “No.”

Kuroo looks at his list of prepared questions again and crosses some of them out. “Interesting, interesting,” he says. “Is it...anyone from Karasuno, actually?”

“No.”

“Someone from here?”

“No.”

“Someone I know?”

Kenma hesitates, and Kuroo’s grin widens. Then, his phone vibrates again. Kenma leans over his shoulder and reads his conversation, and Kuroo lets him.

Brokuto: sfkgldajfklsd YOU HAVEN’T WON YET

Brokuto: akaaaaashi’s?? Dating someone now too????? What the fUCK

Brokuto: do u think we scared them into asking someone out imediatly

Kuroo: I have never been able to scare kenma into being proactive in my entire life. I usually jst bribe him

Kuroo: hmmm

Brokuto: HMMMMM

Kuroo: hmmmmmmmmm

Brokuto: HMMMMMMMMMMM

 

And then they just keep going like that for a while. Kenma snorts.

He stands up and puts his bowl next to the sink. “No more hints for you two.” He almost adds, “if the two of you work together, you’ll figure it out,” but decides that’d be giving too much away.

Kenma: what did u say

Keiji: just “I’m dating someone” 

Keiji: he’s begging me for hints but I’m gonna let him suffer

Kenma: kuro knows its someone he knows so hes probs gonna guess soon

Kenma: unless he decides to be dumb about this

Kenma: he does that sometimes

Kenma: just ignores obvious facts about people for no reason until theyre spelled out for him

Keiji: wild

Talking to Akaashi is easier now, Kenma thinks. It’s like deciding to date has flipped a switch of some kind, turning the darkhaired boy from someone he 70% trusted to someone he trusted at 85%, maybe even 90%.

Keiji: don’t forget saturday cat cafe

Keiji: be there or

He sends an image of clip-art bees, arranged into a square shape. Kenma scrunches his nose, but feels warm in spite of himself.

Kenma: that looks more like a rectangle

Keiji: shhh

Kenma: which cat cafe

Keiji: this one:

He sends Kenma the address.

Kenma: what if they decide to follow us there

Keiji: ...let us weave a complex web of lies and deceit? 

Keiji: and also wear disguises I guess idk

Kenma takes a second to imagine the two of them in silly hats and those glasses with the nose and mustache attached to them. 

Kenma: eh, we’ll see

Kenma: disguises sound ridiculous

Keiji: but also kind of fun maybe

Kenma: we’ll see.

This whole thing goes down on a Wednesday, leaving them with two full days to anticipate the First Date. On Thursday, Kuroo follows Kenma to his class.

“Why,” Kenma says. 

“Because what if you end up meeting up with your mysterious paramour on your way to class? Or after class? Or maybe they’re even in your class, I don’t know,” Kuroo replies. He wiggles his eyebrows and smirks in that particularly irritating way that still makes Kenma’s skin crawl, even after all these years.

Keeping a secret from Kuroo feels like playing a game of chess. If Kenma says, “Don’t bother, they don’t even go here,” then Kuroo wins. But if he says nothing, then Kuroo continues to stick to him like gum to a shoe, and Kenma loses, if not the game, then his patience and sanity. He could lie, but lies have a way of getting themselves found out, especially if it’s Kuroo and he knows what Kenma looks like when he’s not telling the truth.

“Don’t you have a class this block too?” he ends up saying when they’ve reached the door to the Computer Science building. Kuroo blanches.

“Wait, shit, do I? Is today Thursday?” He pulls out his phone and flips open his calendar app, muttering curse words. “Oh fuck, I have a lab in five minutes!” Kuroo sprints away, line of inquiry forgotten. 

“Have fun,” Kenma calls after him.

Classes and volleyball practice and Kuroo’s many other friends end up distracting him from stalking Kenma for the rest of the week, which is a relief. He doesn’t stop pestering Kenma with questions, going for the “annoy Kenma into surrender” route as hard as he possibly can. 

Bokuto comes over Friday night, bringing snacks, to proudly declare that he’d gotten Akaashi to tell him a fact about his mystery person. Why this couldn’t have been done over text, Kenma does not know. He plays a video game while Kuroo and Bokuto exchange information.

“I asked Akaashi to tell me more about the person he’s dating and I think it’s a riddle? Here, look,” Bokuto scrolls through his chat conversation with Akaashi and reads the message out loud. “‘my parents are dead, I have no one in the world. do I transform my nails into blades in grief or anticipation of vengeance or boredom or to protect myself from the world? or just to ruin your favorite couch.’ I have absolutely no idea what this could possibly mean.” 

There is a thoughtful silence, interrupted only by the sound effects of Kenma’s game. After a moment, Kuroo carefully asks, “Was he high or something?”

“Nah, I think he’s just messing with me. I’m just not sure  _ how  _ he’s messing with me.”

Bokuto passes the phone to Kuroo, and Kenma tugs on Kuroo’s sleeve to indicate that he, too, would like to see this conversation.

HOOT HOOT: ...kinda melodramatic 4 some1 u’ve been dating for lik 2 days isnt it

Akaaaaaaaaaaashi: not as dramatic as my love for them

Kuroo laughs his hyena laugh, and Kenma feels his face grow hot despite the fact that Akaashi was quite clearly just messing with Bokuto. A part of him wonders if the two of them could become the kind of couple whose love spans universes, moves mountains, destroys empires.

His nose wrinkles in spite of himself. No, that is not for them.

Kenma: how did you even come up w/that riddle

Keiji: asked my internet friends for help lol

Kenma: fair

Kenma: it is extremely convoluted

Keiji: exactly

Keiji: see you tomorrow, Kenma

Kenma: see you tomorrow

He goes back to his game, and lets his friends speculate late into the night.

Saturday arrives with little fanfare, for such an important day of the week. They decide to meet at the entrance to the cafe at 12:30, and wear disguises.

Kenma waits until Kuroo leaves for a study session before he heads out, and wears a flu mask, sunglasses, a hat and one of Kuroo’s jackets that is way too big on him. He looks vaguely suspicious, Kenma decides, but also not like himself, so it works. 

Akaashi’s standing in the shadow of the awning, leaning against the wall and frowning at his phone. He’s wearing sunglasses and a flu mask like Kenma, but the glasses have some western designer logo on them and with the rest of his outfit he just looks like a fashion model off-duty or something. People walking by keep turning back to look at him. 

Kenma remembers Akaashi is dressed like this for  _ him, _ and feels a flutter of warmth in his chest.

“Were you a fan of spy movies when you were a kid?” Kenma asks when he walks up to Akaashi.

Akaashi blushes slightly. It’s barely visible, but it’s there, and Kenma almost can’t believe he caused it. “Maybe a little. Maybe I really liked Q in James Bond and wanted to be a spy gadget master guy.”

Kenma doesn’t laugh outright, but he huffs a bit, and Akaashi smiles behind the mask. 

He allows himself a moment to imagine Akaashi as James Bond, in an expensive tuxedo and holding a gun in one hand. It’s a nice image, which is why he doesn’t notice Akaashi’s asked him something a few times until Akaashi waves his hand in front of Kenma’s face.

“Sorry,” Kenma says, blinking a few times. “Zoned out. What is it?”

“We’re being watched,” Akaashi says, rolling his eyes and jerking his head to the right. Kenma follows his line of sight to Bokuto Koutarou, sitting behind a bush, holding  _ binoculars  _ and wearing a...lime green plastic visor and matching shutter shades. Which is only slightly more ridiculous than his everyday clothing choices.

“I thought he was going to volleyball practice,” Akaashi continues, frowning. “Either he lied about that or he’s skipping practice to stalk me, which is even worse.”

They regard Bokuto solemnly as he pulls out his phone and starts talking into it. He’s far enough away that they can’t make out his words, but they know him well enough to guess.

“Akaashi's wearing a flu mask,” Bokuto rambles, louder than is probably necessary, “Is he sick? When did he get sick? I’m gonna make him soup when he comes back! Also I think his date's a delinquent or something.”

“Do you want to swap jackets?” Akaashi says. “No offense, but your jacket doesn’t fit you at all. And it would probably be a better disguise, since we’re trying to hide from people who know how we usually dress.”

Kenma shrugs, but takes it off anyway. “It’s comfortable, and at least this way I definitely wouldn’t look like myself.”

Akaashi’s jacket is warm and smells like him, like soap and coffee and pine needles. Kenma steals Kuroo’s jackets and sweatshirts all the time, so the novelty of that wore off sometime in second year of high school, but wearing Akaashi’s jacket feels special, somehow.

Kenma pulls his mask up higher on his face.

“Pain-in-the-ass Kuroo’s here too,” Akaashi points out, looking past Kenma.

Kenma turns around and looks for spiky black hair also sitting behind a conveniently placed bush of some sort. Turns out Kuroo’s smart enough to hide his distinctive bedhead when attempting to be undercover. He’s in a red bucket hat, fringe pinned up and out of his face, and in chunky square glasses probably borrowed from Oikawa. He’s standing behind a pillar, but leans around it to watch what Kenma’s up to. He’s also talking into his phone.

“Kenma's dressed weird today but I think his mystery date is some pop star I don't recognize? They’re dressed like a celebrity in disguise,” Kuroo whispers.

Kenma and Akaashi slowly look from one end of the street to the other, and then back again.

“Are they...calling each other from opposite ends of the street?” Kenma asks.

“I think so. Did they not coordinate this? Do they still have no idea we’re on this date together?”

Akaashi laughs, and then takes Kenma by the arm and leads him into the cat cafe.

Kenma doesn’t go to cat cafes often, because the negatives of interacting with people usually outweigh the positives of petting cats. But when they walk in and take off their shoes, Akaashi pays for them both and makes polite small talk with the cafe staff, leaving Kenma to pet cats and get a complimentary milk tea from the vending machine.

There are a lot of cats, and they are very soft. The cafe’s not totally empty, but the few other guests are, like Kenma, quietly petting cats and drinking tea or coffee. It’s not one of those fancy themed cat cafes in Harajuku, just a sunny, friendly place with nice and soft cats. Kenma sits down in a beanbag chair and successfully coaxes a little orange kitten into his lap. It immediately tries to rip the flimsy paper mask off his face. 

There’s a click of a camera shutter and Kenma looks up to see Akaashi with his phone out, snapping a picture of Kenma with the kitten. “Sorry, I probably should have asked first, but it seemed like the perfect moment.” He turns the phone around so Kenma could see how the photo turned out, and it is perfect: the tiny kitten batting at his face ineffectually, the light coming in through the window to illuminate them both just right.

“Send it to me,” Kenma says, and Akaashi blinks, surprised.

“It reminds me of someone,” he elaborates, and Akaashi just nods once, not pressing for an explanation.

They paid for an hour and so they sit there for an hour, quietly petting cats. Kenma doesn’t talk much, and some people, when they find themselves spending a lot of time with Kenma, feel pressured to talk more to fill up the space. Or they use Kenma as a sounding board, someone to vent to and throw ideas at knowing he probably wouldn’t interrupt. 

Akaashi Keiji, Kenma thinks, casting a sideways glance at the other boy, can appreciate silence.

If dating Akaashi means things like this, Kenma could get used to it.

All too soon, the chirpy attendant comes over to them and says their time is up. “Do you want to go get lunch?” Akaashi asks, and the hint of nervousness Kenma heard in his voice when he’d first asked Kenma to date him is there again for some reason.

“Sure,” Kenma says, and Akaashi’s shoulders relax a fraction. 

“There’s a pretty good curry place a block over that way,” Akaashi says, pointing. “Bokuto and I go there sometimes.”

“Did he and Kuro go home?” Kenma looks around, but doesn’t see any suspiciously lurking college students. He texts Kuroo for confirmation, and doesn’t get an immediate response, which means he’s probably busy and therefore not spying on Kenma.

Akaashi types into his phone. “Bokuto says he’s at practice, taking a quick break. He’s also asking me if I’m feeling sick? Probably because of this dumb thing,” he reports, tugging the paper flu mask off. Kenma follows suit, since it appears to be safe now.

They walk into the curry place looking more or less like their usual selves, and watch Bokuto Koutarou fall off his chair in surprise, grabbing Kuroo’s arm and taking Kuroo down with him.

“Ow, Bo, what the fu-” And then they’re both staring, wide-eyed, at Akaashi and Kenma, and have gotten the attention of the other people in the restaurant too.

Kenma instinctively takes a step back and to the side to get behind Akaashi, as he tends to do whenever multiple people are looking at him for some reason.

Bokuto reacts first, slapping his forehead with one head and saying, “Of course, this makes so much sense!”

Kuroo flops back on the floor and mutters, “I should’ve fucking known.”

“Actually maybe we should just leave,” Kenma mutters, but Akaashi puts a hand on his shoulder and says, “Wait.”

They end up ordering food and sitting down at Kuroo and Bokuto’s table, across from them.    
Without thinking about it, Kenma grabs Akaashi’s hand under the table. It’s warm and solid and dry, and surprisingly soft. Holding his hand makes the conversation feel a little less like a trial.

“Ha, I can’t believe you thought Akaashi was a celebrity,” Bokuto’s saying now, gesturing at Kuroo with his chopsticks.

“Yeah, well,  _ I  _ can’t believe you called  _ Kenma  _ a delinquent. Apologize to him immediately!”

Kenma blinks. “I don’t care if Koutarou calls me a delinquent,” he murmurs, but Kuroo ignores him and continues demanding that Bokuto apologize until Bokuto throws himself across the table wailing “I’M SORRY KENMA” and Kenma regrets every decision that has led up to this moment in his life. Or, almost every decision, because Akaashi’s still holding his hand and that is nice.

“So anyway,” Akaashi cuts in, derailing wherever the Bokuto-Kuroo Train was planning on going next. 

“So anyway,” Kuroo repeats. “You’re dating Kenma now.”

“And Kenma’s dating Akaashi now,” Bokuto adds.

“Which means...”

The two idiots look at each other and declare in unison, “It’s a tie!”

“You mean the bet?” Kenma asks. He’d honestly almost forgotten about it by now, so much has happened in such a short amount of time. 

“Yeah. We’ve decided you are both equally good for each other, and also cute together,” Kuroo says, snapping a picture before Kenma can stop him. His phone vibrates in his pocket a second later. He should really get a new best friend, Kenma thinks, but he knows he probably never will.

“Unless you decided to fake a relationship to mess with us,” Bokuto adds, eyebrows furrowed. “And that wouldn’t be very nice.”

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “The fake dating trope has never worked out well for anyone in the history of the universe. For your information, that was our first date.” He looks at Kenma then, eyes wide, cheeks pink. “And I personally am hoping it will lead to more dates in the future, because up until you two showed up I was having a very good time.”

“Technically,  _ you  _ showed up to the restaurant we were already sitting at but--” Bokuto elbows Kuroo and whispers “It’s rude to interrupt young love!”

Kenma wants to hide his face in something, so he looks away and mumbles, “Yeah, me too.”

Bokuto and Kuroo applaud, and then so does everyone else in the restaurant. Perhaps they assumed it was a birthday party. Kenma actively considers crawling underneath the table.

They wander back to Kuroo and Kenma’s dorm first, as they usually do when the four of them hang out together, but this time is a little different.

Kuroo goes inside, Bokuto runs off, and Kenma and Akaashi are standing at the door. Kenma’s heart is beating way too fast, anticipating something, but he’s not sure what exactly.

Quickly and softly, Akaashi leans in and presses his lips to Kenma’s. He pulls back almost immediately, blinking.

It feels, Kenma thinks, like winning sometimes feels.

“Was-- was that okay?” Akaashi asks, and Kenma wants to laugh. He can’t believe that he, Kozume Kenma, is the person who makes  _ Akaashi Keiji _ flustered and nervous like this.

Instead, Kenma leans forward and kisses him again. 

**Author's Note:**

> s/o to connie and phoebe for being my eternal fic cheerleaders and advisers and to gwen on discord for coming up with the most convoluted riddle of all time  
> I think about [this image](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIaJOL8UQAAu6jo.jpg) every day  
> talk to me on [tumblr](http://cubistemoji.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/mashazart/)


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